Pet Peeves: What irks you?

Alrighty, so let's just say that things have been getting to me more than usual because of a lack of patience. Well, a better phrase would be that all of my patience and time for thought has been greedily sucked up by a sponge. Now I'm finding that a lot of things annoy me, a lot more than I previously thought.

For one: baby-talk. I can understand that talking in a soft tone and saying sweet nothings is nice, sweet, and even on occasion cute, but when you sound like a moron, I believe that there's where the line should be drawn. Do people even notice that they're trodding on their own pride? I understand that it's used on babies and small cats etc, but tome it sounds like the grating of fingernails on a chalkboard: not only does it sound atrocious, but it feels that way too!

Hypocrisy is like a disease: it spreads through your body like a virus that slowly takes over your whole system until you're nothing but a living contradiction. Sure,it's something that's almost impossible to erase from yourself, but you could at least try. I'm not a pristine example of a perfect person, but at least I'm trying. If you're going to tell somebody to not do something, or to do something differently, then you might as well make a good example and do it yourself first.

Trust Issues are always a problem, but has anyone ever thought about why they're there? I tell my mom that I have these trust issues, and she laughs, shoves them aside and belittles them down to "she's over-reacting again'. I don't over-react unless it's something extreme: she doesn't want to see the shambles of a childhood gone wrong.

Ordering instead of asking. Sure, it's polite to ask, and it's childish to demand, but has anyone ever stopped to consider how society's gone down the drains? We're taught to demand things,children expect their parents to take care of them until they die, and even then, they expect their inheritance to take care of them after the fact as well. We have become a selfish society that's driven by greed, but then again, we're people and people are driven by wants and needs.

Immaturity in someone much older is something that's sad to see, especially if it's someone close to you. What's even more sad is if that person doesn't realize their own level of immaturity in certain areas and preaches of their own perfection. Ironic, ne?

Whining is annoying to everyone universally. There's no doubt about it. There's only levels of tolerance. I have no tolerance for this at all, and I'm kind of proud of it. Whining gets you nowhere, it just is making something that's already obvious more obvious and just annoys everyone around you. If the people around you cared enough or could do something about it, they would have: so shut up already!

Of Cooking, Morning Telephone Convos and the Expectation of Things to Come.

So,I've been eating way too much healthy food again,so I decided to indulge in one of my favorite foods: Ramen. This morning I had some Sapporo Beef flavored ramen and a pomegranate for breakfast. Odd combo,fruit and soup for breakfast!

This Christmas Eve, I plan to go to my grandfather's house (the usual) and eat dinner/dessert there with some of the family. Then, as tradition dictates, when my parents and I get home, we'll open up our stockings and then sleep. In the morning we'll open the rest of our presents like good little kids. After that, then comes the cooking craze that only ends at dinner time: yes, we cook all day. That's at least what we do at my house.

So the heater somehow broke over the past few days,and now the house is at 60 degrees Fahrenheit and it feels a lot colder than it really is. Later on today the repair-man's going to come and fix it. Hopefully he'll have a happy holiday too!

Apparently my parents aren't the only crazy people to baby-talk to their cats. My uncle and aunt go"A-woo-woo-woo Bailey fell down!" and then Bailey rolls over. My other uncle slaps his thigh and his cat jumps on his lap and climbs on his shoulders like a vulture. My dad is by far the silliest when it comes to baby-talking cats, in my opinion. He's 6'1" tall and he's a big guy, so it's especially humorous when he makes a fool out of himself in that fashion. He picks up my cat, cradles her like a baby and talks sweet nothings in the form of "You're such a stupid cat, yes you are!" And whenever he cooks food, he always makes a little something for her or teases her with "Do you want some kitty-cheese? Yes, want some kitty-cheese?" I, when I'm not dying with the stupidity I see everywhere, am getting really tired of the baby-talking. Baby-talking in general makes me want to throw small babies across the street into oncoming traffic, scrape the dead thing up off the ground and then throw it like a frisbee.

Updates later on~

Nature, Family, Scrooge, Music and Tea~

Why hello again. I've recently been having a lot of luck with my sleeping schedule,thank god. I've finally been able to sleep at night instead of during the day. PHEW, that took a while.

On another note: yesterday I went for a nature walk in a reservation in New Providence with my aunt, and we ran into this beautiful woodpecker. It was black and white with a little red plumage on the top of the head. I still have to find out which type of woodpecker it is in particular, but I'll find out eventually (I have a large number of bird/nature books that are more than adequate). The trail that we went on was snow and ice covered, and it was obviously cold, especially since we left when the sun was starting to set.

I really had a good time. I used to go for nature walks and hikes all the time, but over the years, my parents (who usually were the ones who took the initiative in taking me), are starting to get older and their health isn't what it used to be. they're in their early fifties and my mom has some heart problems. Usually when I go on ventures outside, I bring back some memento, like a feather, bug shell, or interesting leaf for her if she wasn't there. This time there wasn't any little thing to bring back and I forgot my camera home on my couch, typical, eh?

Yesterday, my aunt was dancing in my car to some of my music, which of course, made me laugh. Florence and the Machine was the artist. I love their music: the lyrics are so unique. You normally wouldn't think of putting that descriptive collection of words together, and their descriptions make very interesting comparisons and symbolism that I haven't seen before (and I am very well read). My favorite song of theirs is called Howl. That song is about a werewolf, or if you want to take a more philosophical view: about the inner beast that we all have locked away. I can't seem to get enough of them, it's kind of amusing.

I'm kind of the scrooge in my family because everyone else gets into the holiday mood a while before Christmas, and here I am,blasting rock music or whatever I'm listening to instead of listening to the Christmas music that my parents have on. I wait until the day before Christmas to get excited: today.

By the way, I tried this new tea today, called Hibiscus tea, also known as Rosen tea. It is very light and aromatic and sweet. In my cup,it was a 'rose' color, so it's aptly named Rosen tea. It's quickly becoming one of my favorites.

Strawberries for Breakfast

For some reason, whenever I have slightly sugared strawberries for breakfast,the rest of the day seems that much better. Maybe it's those chemicals in strawberries that are in chocolate and pepperoni...not sure.

I've been slowly adding music to my music library for a while; a lot more recently than I have been in , and now it's slowly growing into a monster! I love it though, because that means that my playlists will truly be something fearful to behold. The most recent addition to the library is Depeche Mode. Now a lot of people listen to a song by DM and think that it's something below them or that it's 'techno'. Those people really don't know what's up. If you listen to the lyrics,you'll find out that most of the songs have a deeper meaning than just what they're proclaiming. If you're in a thoughtful or philosophic mood, this stuff's the music you want to listen to!

As for sleep, I was dying yesterday,and I finally got an hour at five or so, and then at seven, I didn't wake up till eleven. And at eleven pm, I just checked the clock, turned off my alarm and then went back to sleep till 6:50 am. Now that's a buttload of sleep for somebody who has trouble sleeping. I feel awesome right now. A little cold, but awesome. Correction...very cold!

Also, many people say that eggs and cheese are a nasty combination. I, on the other hand love it! Just easy-over eggs and cheese mixed gently in a bowl. Sure, it looks nasty, but the flavors are awesome! On that note- time for some breakfast!

Sleepless in...Dare I Say Seattle?

Apparently I'm boring because all I talk about is sleep. Even the ads on the side and the bottom of the blog are about sleep and insomnia and snoring. Who would have thought that one comment about a snoring cat would have created such an occurrence.

Just a warning for those that are underage or do not want to see foul language. There is one usage of a foul word later on. Excuse me.

Time for some rambling:
-Running on 2 hours of sleep
-Inspiration overload still is continuing
-Probably failed my Italian final
-The people I came to school today to see are not here.
-I'm really starting to wonder about my sanity and those of my relatives.

So, running on two hours of sleep for about three days is quite interesting. It's like I'm on a high, without all of the negative affects of doing drugs or alcohol: it's only shortening my life,just like the pollution I'm breathing in every second. Awesome.

Inspiration overload's still fueling my raging insomnia, and I know that a lot of other people deal with insomnia too, it's fin on occasion, but mostly it's very annoying and in some cases dangerous and hurtful. I feel like a shell of numbness with some minor places of feeling left. As you can prolly tell, my writing and cognitive ability's atrocious at the moment.

My grandmother just called me demanding to know what I want for christmas. She doesn't have a lot of money, and I have no clue what to ask for. Every year I go through this dilemma and still I haven't found a solution. I told her that I could always use some clothing, and pencils. I told her a couple of clothing stores that I would want a gift card from and that way she can decide how much to put on them, and mechanical pencils don't cost too much,since she wants me to be able to open up an actual gift when I see her.

I prolly failed my Italian final, but I can't bring myself to really care about it, despite the fact that I paid good money to fail a course that doesn't have anything to do with what I'll be doing with my life. My parents yelled at me last night that I'd better get an A on this test because they didn't see me studying. I'm paying for the classes, I'm 20 years old, and I am tired of them forcing their ideals and goals on me.I don't know if they've ever thought about it, but I have goals that I want to get accomplished in my life too.

The people I want to see at school aren't here. My ex,who I'm probably in love with, doesn't show up except on Thursdays. It's kind of sad that I'm in love with this guy. It's not the typical 'he broke up with me so I'm sad' deal, it's more along the lines of 'He doesn't have money to stay in the state,so he has to move at least ten states away when his mom is moving.' So here I am, hurting for weeks, when he doesn't even know if/when his mom is moving,and breaks up with me so we'll be friends... I've talked to some of my friends who are guys,and they tell me that he did it for himself, so that if he has to leave,it won't be as difficult for him. I don't know. I don't know.

And the whole sanity thing: that's a daily occurrence. I don't really care if I'm crazy, I just care about hurting those around me that I care about. I wouldn't want to do that.

I look around the cafeteria that I'm in, at the college, and I see a bunch of people that I am, in general, fond of. Then again, some are just creepers. I just got hugged and kissed on the cheek by a stubble-chinned friend of mine that I can't stand half of the time because I helped him study for a final and now he has confidence that he did really well on it. Good luck you you! I also look around, once again at this crowd in the cafeteria, and I see two friends of mine running out of the cafeteria to talk about some new development in some drama. Normally I'm right in the middle of said drama, helping out both sides,but right now I can't give a flying fuck. It's kind of like, I'm tired of helping everyone else out, I need to take a break to take care of myself for once.

~Till next time.

Topic: Creativity Burst

Hokay, so for the past few months, I've been having a lot of difficulty getting my 'inner muse' to turn on, and I was unable to write or draw or really enjoy any of the hobbies that involved creativity at all. Suddenly, yesterday, I'm unable to sleep yet again, and I get this powerful urge to draw. So I take out my wacom tablet and hop on Corel Painter Essentials 3 and drew. It was like these drawings flew out of my brain but traveled through my spinal column, down my arm and out my fingers! Then, still unable to sleep, I start downloading music, and find that I'm in the mood to write.

So here I am, at five in the morning, no sleep to be found, listening to music while writing poetry and sipping some hot tea. I really should be studying for an Italian final that's this Thursday, but I have the feeling that my A.D.D. will just override and my hands will inch towards the wacom pen and my laptop.

Oh, hello there: how remiss of me. I forgot to introduce myself. And here I am, thinking that you all really care about me and my sleeping problems. My name is Lauren, and I'm a 20 year old college student that's trying to get some kind of goal for her life. I write poetry and short stories, draw, play sports, love to cook and eat food, listen to music, among many other things. I'm an only child and it's not that much fun, really. Enough about me for now, you'll find more out later.

Last night I was working on some poem, and I hear this light snoring noise. I look around because nobody else was around, and nobody in my family snores that loudly that I'd hear them from the first floor. I look around, and find the culprit: my cat. Who would've thought that cats snore too? It's kind of outrageous to even think that animals can't snore, but it's not like you get to see them sleeping all the time,right?

I've also been in the mood to cook recently. I've lost too much weight recently, and I know a lot of people would envy my position, but it's not as good as it sounds. So, I've been eating fatty foods and high-calorie foods while still working out as per usual. So far, my weight's stayed the same. We'll see if my weight continues to go down. If it does, then I'll have to get it checked out, because I've lost almost thirty pounds without trying over a few months. That can't be healthy.

Also, about Christmas. I know a lot of us celebrate Christmas by giving gifts even if we aren't religious, but I was wondering if the traditional home-made gifts are under-appreciated lately. Sure, I don't know what I'd do without my laptop or Ipod, but I really treasure some of the hand-made gifts that I've received over the years. My mom made a hat and gave it to me one year as part of a gift, and it's one of my favorite hats! It's this blue crocheted wonder, and it's incredibly soft. So this year, I thought that I'd crochet my mom a scarf and hat combo. Sounds easy, right? Well, I've done scarves before: so that wasn't a problem. The hat is what I'm finding more difficult. I was thinking that I'd crochet a large square, connect one pair of ends and sew the side and top together. Prolly will look outrageous, but hey, it's my first hat! I was wondering if you guys were making anything for somebody special.

Before I go, here's one of the poems that I wrote this morning at about 3am. Can you tell it's about a relationship? Haha.

Title: Just go

Author: Lauren

I don’t care anymore,

The sun rise gently caresses my closed eyelids,

A new day;

Same old shit.

I can’t forget you,

Why would I want to.

People tell me to move on,

It’s kind of hard to do when you’re

Still here.

Just leave already,

If you have to go,

Just go.

Haven’t you tortured me long enough?

The sun’s rays of light laugh at me

Through the empty tree branches.

When we were together,

We danced under the falling leaves,

Catching a few in open palms.

My hopes and dreams and longings fulfilled

With every look you gave me,

Every touch, every kiss.

But now the branches are empty,

Frost glazes the tips like the

Leftovers of a marshmallow on a stick.

And the leaves that fell are under our feet,

Dancing in the breeze, being ground into dust.

Please,

Make up your mind.

If you want me,

Don’t leave me

All alone in the flurries.

Can’t we dance in the snow?