Sleepless in...Dare I Say Seattle?

Apparently I'm boring because all I talk about is sleep. Even the ads on the side and the bottom of the blog are about sleep and insomnia and snoring. Who would have thought that one comment about a snoring cat would have created such an occurrence.

Just a warning for those that are underage or do not want to see foul language. There is one usage of a foul word later on. Excuse me.

Time for some rambling:
-Running on 2 hours of sleep
-Inspiration overload still is continuing
-Probably failed my Italian final
-The people I came to school today to see are not here.
-I'm really starting to wonder about my sanity and those of my relatives.

So, running on two hours of sleep for about three days is quite interesting. It's like I'm on a high, without all of the negative affects of doing drugs or alcohol: it's only shortening my life,just like the pollution I'm breathing in every second. Awesome.

Inspiration overload's still fueling my raging insomnia, and I know that a lot of other people deal with insomnia too, it's fin on occasion, but mostly it's very annoying and in some cases dangerous and hurtful. I feel like a shell of numbness with some minor places of feeling left. As you can prolly tell, my writing and cognitive ability's atrocious at the moment.

My grandmother just called me demanding to know what I want for christmas. She doesn't have a lot of money, and I have no clue what to ask for. Every year I go through this dilemma and still I haven't found a solution. I told her that I could always use some clothing, and pencils. I told her a couple of clothing stores that I would want a gift card from and that way she can decide how much to put on them, and mechanical pencils don't cost too much,since she wants me to be able to open up an actual gift when I see her.

I prolly failed my Italian final, but I can't bring myself to really care about it, despite the fact that I paid good money to fail a course that doesn't have anything to do with what I'll be doing with my life. My parents yelled at me last night that I'd better get an A on this test because they didn't see me studying. I'm paying for the classes, I'm 20 years old, and I am tired of them forcing their ideals and goals on me.I don't know if they've ever thought about it, but I have goals that I want to get accomplished in my life too.

The people I want to see at school aren't here. My ex,who I'm probably in love with, doesn't show up except on Thursdays. It's kind of sad that I'm in love with this guy. It's not the typical 'he broke up with me so I'm sad' deal, it's more along the lines of 'He doesn't have money to stay in the state,so he has to move at least ten states away when his mom is moving.' So here I am, hurting for weeks, when he doesn't even know if/when his mom is moving,and breaks up with me so we'll be friends... I've talked to some of my friends who are guys,and they tell me that he did it for himself, so that if he has to leave,it won't be as difficult for him. I don't know. I don't know.

And the whole sanity thing: that's a daily occurrence. I don't really care if I'm crazy, I just care about hurting those around me that I care about. I wouldn't want to do that.

I look around the cafeteria that I'm in, at the college, and I see a bunch of people that I am, in general, fond of. Then again, some are just creepers. I just got hugged and kissed on the cheek by a stubble-chinned friend of mine that I can't stand half of the time because I helped him study for a final and now he has confidence that he did really well on it. Good luck you you! I also look around, once again at this crowd in the cafeteria, and I see two friends of mine running out of the cafeteria to talk about some new development in some drama. Normally I'm right in the middle of said drama, helping out both sides,but right now I can't give a flying fuck. It's kind of like, I'm tired of helping everyone else out, I need to take a break to take care of myself for once.

~Till next time.