Nature, Family, Scrooge, Music and Tea~

Why hello again. I've recently been having a lot of luck with my sleeping schedule,thank god. I've finally been able to sleep at night instead of during the day. PHEW, that took a while.

On another note: yesterday I went for a nature walk in a reservation in New Providence with my aunt, and we ran into this beautiful woodpecker. It was black and white with a little red plumage on the top of the head. I still have to find out which type of woodpecker it is in particular, but I'll find out eventually (I have a large number of bird/nature books that are more than adequate). The trail that we went on was snow and ice covered, and it was obviously cold, especially since we left when the sun was starting to set.

I really had a good time. I used to go for nature walks and hikes all the time, but over the years, my parents (who usually were the ones who took the initiative in taking me), are starting to get older and their health isn't what it used to be. they're in their early fifties and my mom has some heart problems. Usually when I go on ventures outside, I bring back some memento, like a feather, bug shell, or interesting leaf for her if she wasn't there. This time there wasn't any little thing to bring back and I forgot my camera home on my couch, typical, eh?

Yesterday, my aunt was dancing in my car to some of my music, which of course, made me laugh. Florence and the Machine was the artist. I love their music: the lyrics are so unique. You normally wouldn't think of putting that descriptive collection of words together, and their descriptions make very interesting comparisons and symbolism that I haven't seen before (and I am very well read). My favorite song of theirs is called Howl. That song is about a werewolf, or if you want to take a more philosophical view: about the inner beast that we all have locked away. I can't seem to get enough of them, it's kind of amusing.

I'm kind of the scrooge in my family because everyone else gets into the holiday mood a while before Christmas, and here I am,blasting rock music or whatever I'm listening to instead of listening to the Christmas music that my parents have on. I wait until the day before Christmas to get excited: today.

By the way, I tried this new tea today, called Hibiscus tea, also known as Rosen tea. It is very light and aromatic and sweet. In my cup,it was a 'rose' color, so it's aptly named Rosen tea. It's quickly becoming one of my favorites.

Sleepless in...Dare I Say Seattle?

Apparently I'm boring because all I talk about is sleep. Even the ads on the side and the bottom of the blog are about sleep and insomnia and snoring. Who would have thought that one comment about a snoring cat would have created such an occurrence.

Just a warning for those that are underage or do not want to see foul language. There is one usage of a foul word later on. Excuse me.

Time for some rambling:
-Running on 2 hours of sleep
-Inspiration overload still is continuing
-Probably failed my Italian final
-The people I came to school today to see are not here.
-I'm really starting to wonder about my sanity and those of my relatives.

So, running on two hours of sleep for about three days is quite interesting. It's like I'm on a high, without all of the negative affects of doing drugs or alcohol: it's only shortening my life,just like the pollution I'm breathing in every second. Awesome.

Inspiration overload's still fueling my raging insomnia, and I know that a lot of other people deal with insomnia too, it's fin on occasion, but mostly it's very annoying and in some cases dangerous and hurtful. I feel like a shell of numbness with some minor places of feeling left. As you can prolly tell, my writing and cognitive ability's atrocious at the moment.

My grandmother just called me demanding to know what I want for christmas. She doesn't have a lot of money, and I have no clue what to ask for. Every year I go through this dilemma and still I haven't found a solution. I told her that I could always use some clothing, and pencils. I told her a couple of clothing stores that I would want a gift card from and that way she can decide how much to put on them, and mechanical pencils don't cost too much,since she wants me to be able to open up an actual gift when I see her.

I prolly failed my Italian final, but I can't bring myself to really care about it, despite the fact that I paid good money to fail a course that doesn't have anything to do with what I'll be doing with my life. My parents yelled at me last night that I'd better get an A on this test because they didn't see me studying. I'm paying for the classes, I'm 20 years old, and I am tired of them forcing their ideals and goals on me.I don't know if they've ever thought about it, but I have goals that I want to get accomplished in my life too.

The people I want to see at school aren't here. My ex,who I'm probably in love with, doesn't show up except on Thursdays. It's kind of sad that I'm in love with this guy. It's not the typical 'he broke up with me so I'm sad' deal, it's more along the lines of 'He doesn't have money to stay in the state,so he has to move at least ten states away when his mom is moving.' So here I am, hurting for weeks, when he doesn't even know if/when his mom is moving,and breaks up with me so we'll be friends... I've talked to some of my friends who are guys,and they tell me that he did it for himself, so that if he has to leave,it won't be as difficult for him. I don't know. I don't know.

And the whole sanity thing: that's a daily occurrence. I don't really care if I'm crazy, I just care about hurting those around me that I care about. I wouldn't want to do that.

I look around the cafeteria that I'm in, at the college, and I see a bunch of people that I am, in general, fond of. Then again, some are just creepers. I just got hugged and kissed on the cheek by a stubble-chinned friend of mine that I can't stand half of the time because I helped him study for a final and now he has confidence that he did really well on it. Good luck you you! I also look around, once again at this crowd in the cafeteria, and I see two friends of mine running out of the cafeteria to talk about some new development in some drama. Normally I'm right in the middle of said drama, helping out both sides,but right now I can't give a flying fuck. It's kind of like, I'm tired of helping everyone else out, I need to take a break to take care of myself for once.

~Till next time.